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A Peak Inside

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A Peak Inside

By Jill Pagano on November 20, 2010

Writing: Friday, November 19th, 2010

The blog assignment is to reflect on what Nia means when referring to Science and discuss how science impact’s Nia’s education, methods and practice and approach to a sensory based communication.

And...
I am not thinking in scientific terms tonight as I write this blog. Instead I’ve spent the day with an ongoing sensation that is sitting in my gut, in my chest, moves to my throat and jaw. This sensation of vibratory tightness is a wad of sizzling nerves. It inhibits my ability to breathe fully and it drains my ability to connect to positive emotions of joy, happiness, comfort and peace.

Jill, be a Sensation Scientist.

And I am experiencing this place and moment in all my realms. This sensation in my body is not new. I have become aware of its presence for some time now, except lately it is growing in intensity. And perhaps, duration. I sense some degree of it in my body throughout the day, except when I’m dancing or teaching. Today, the sensation has increased. It’s actually an interesting exercise to describe the sensation of “increase”. What is actually  going on here…is “it--the wad of tight energy” in more of my body? In different parts of my body? How is the sensation different?…Is it more intense, like the difference between whether a Thai food dish is made with one star or four star spice. Ya know, where the strong flavor kicks in all at once? Or is it a greater quantity of the same intensity, kinda like running on a treadmill where the sensation of tiredness grows simply because I’ve stayed on it too long. Am I feeling a greater degree of stress and sadness or have I just come to the point where the buildup of stress needs to be expressed?


Today, I am giving space to my emotional body and my physical sensations. Today, I listen to the stress, in my mind and my body. I’m not putting my hands on it saying “don’t go there” or “wait” or even a positive outlook like “don’t worry, be grateful for what you have”. I’m not even holding space for “what can I learn about this”. I’m just with this wad, this lump that is present in my heart. And when my natural emotional floodgates open, I feel the tightness on the roof of my mouth and around my jaw. My tears are warm and salty. My nose runs and my body temperature rises--this is “the heat of the moment”.


I am a sensation scientist and Nia teaches me my body is the ultimate communicative device that houses the alchemical laboratory of my heart, my spirit and my mind.

 

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Submitted, Saturday Night (footnote):

 I am feeling better
XO,

Jill