We filmed my adapted routine, "Ignite!" today - on my birthday - and it was FABULOUS!!! 18 people came, all dressed in black...and we ROCKED "Ignite!" together.
I had Eddie Bishop, videographer shoot it. He tapped into my sound system to get the direct microphone and will be synching my music files so the sound should be great too. I was in my long coat and had the most incredible time teaching. I had no idea that it would feel like this - so playful, easy and wonderful. Students were amazing including 3 new students, three Nia teachers and two White Belts.
Yesterday I experienced a lot of anxiety. I called one of my best Nia teacher friends, Gayle Holeton and asked her to be here today. We had an amazing talk and both had tears. She responded so wonderfully and showed up 30 minutes early today with homemade cupcakes and flowers and to do anything I needed her to do...sign in people, put the music on, etc. Having her here was incredible and very grounding.
I also got an appointment with my therapist yesterday, last minute. She fit me in! We did some "chair work" on a very critical voice I have sometimes in my head. I named her "Leatrice". During the 'chair work' (means there is an imaginary person sitting in the chair in front of me and I can talk to them) I put "Leatrice" in her place and told her how it will be going forward. In truth she is my mother's sister, never a loving or kind woman however the aunt who was most "present" in my life when my mother left us due to mental illness - and looks just like my mom. Domineering bully. I have carried her critical voice with me for a long time. However her strength at times was good for me. So I acknowledged that strength and the 'selfish' qualities that sometimes are good, but the criticizing, domineering and unfeeling person no longer has a place in my life.
We also talked about how being videotaped can cause me to split off or in Nia language, elipt to what I think I look like - so not be present at all...with a big part of me concerned. Once I became aware of that I decided to just imagine the cameras were loving eyes admiring me.
Then my therapist pulled out another chair and I built the teacher/mentor I wanted - who I would be for me and we set an intention that she'd be with me from that point on until I completed the class today and whenever I need her. She's a master teacher, compassionate, positive and supportive yet still able to masterfully point out areas for growth. She never shames me. She is a blend of my grandmother, my art teacher in high school, my Witness and has qualities of many of you too...but especially and most profoundly, she is me - I am a great mentor to others...just forget to be that for me.
I slept well and woke up relaxed at 5:30 AM. I was excited with friendly fluttering butterflies but not nervous at all. Students showed up with hugs at the door. I was surrounded with love, with bouquets of flowers, gifts and cards that students brought for my birthday and was aware of a very direct LOVE line to Nia. And I was with me, my new best mentor. I am certain that the video will express all of the positive energy, creativity, fun. I am so happy and can now relax and enjoy my birthday! 59!!! Partner Paula has 2 surprises planned for this evening. :0)